Monthly Archives: June 2009

Go Fug, Depth

There are so many ways one can start a piece on music and sound unbelievably cliche’. The worst, as far as I’m concerned is Shakespeare’s line from Twelfth Night – “If music be the food of love, play on.” *uggghhhhh!!!!!!!! Seriously! I mean, I love Shakespeare, at least most of his stuff, but I cannot abide with how people seem to think, especially in school, how he is the be all and end all, the alpha and the omega of good literature. He was great, sure, but there’s more you know. To be honest, my school quoted that line whenever music came up in any function (and there were a lot of those) so I have had an overload of that quote.

Anyway, I digress. Music, right. The thing is, I always find it surprising when people can like some kinds of music and not like the other, and then complain about others liking something else entirely. Often on the basis of artists even. Is it really that strange if I like Mozart, Ghazhals, Blink 182 and Punjabi Dance beats at the same time? I mean I like all three of them, I don’t listen to all of them together *scream*. Nobody complains about the extensive field of music that I like, but I really find it strange when people dismiss one genre of music or an artist entirely because that’s just not their “thing”.

Speaking of which, I have to say that I have noted, that there is nothing like our taste in music which can determine what kind of social circle we hang out in. If you liked Backstreet Boys in the 90’s it was most likely you belonged to the slightly popular, well known, pink-loving gang of girls in school. If you liked Linkin Park in middle school, you were likely to be in the male counterpart circle, or whatever you want to call it- you get my drift- jock, popular, crushed on. If you’re a rich junkie from Bombay, you will probably like Pink Floyd and Jim Morrison; but if you’re a rich junkie from Delhi, it is very likely that you also love Punjabi pop. If you’re a middle class junkie from Delhi, you will probably like Linkin Park (sometimes), but mostly stick to obscure, unknown Punjabi music. If at the age of 14 you’re crazy about the Beatles in Delhi, you’re well known enough in your school, but you’re not among the popular kids, and often you don’t care, since you don’t care to put on “kool” taste in music for the sake of the Beautifuls (what I used to call the popular ones- you may have guessed that was me in 9th). By the time you get to college, what kind of college you’re in may be reflected in your tastes and vice-versa. If you’re in a DU girls college, you have a taste for good bollywood songs, alt-rock or up-beat dance music. If you’re in IIT, you will probably like Alt-Rock, Hard Rock, and/or Classical music, both Western and Indian. If you’re in Law school… apparently you can like anything, with people seeming to place you in categories according to what you like, a la me right now. Actually, this is probably the case everywhere, but what is given above is just an outsider’s  perspective, quite obviously full of stereotypes, so try not to slam me bout this… There’ nothing more fun than being stereotypical sometimes, and writing about them in the WWW.

Either way, there is good music in every genre, so why is there such a hullabulloo (I wonder if that is a word, and if it’s spelled right?) as to what kind is best or ideal? So, someone likes Backstreet Boys at the age of 18 by some weird twist of fate, big deal. It’s music, so if they enjoy it, why not leave them alone? D mentioned a few days ago (yet again) about how Jim Morrison read a lot of Philosophy while John Lennon dropped out of college. To be fair, he wasn’t being mean and I may have been provocative, not that I remember… blah. But the point is, someone’s music taste does not become crappy because they like The Beatles, The Doors, Semisonic, Backstreet Boys, or Bollywood. So in an ideal world, we shouldn’t even be trying to determine which music is the best. Some people like the idea of what is perceived to be “Depth”, others have a different perception of “Depth”, while some people just don’t like “Depth”. None of us have a right to complain about it, in an ideal world.

But then again, if this were an ideal world, people who were nice would always be gorgeous; George W. Bush should never have passed school, Khushwant Singh, Stanley Kubrick and John Lennon would be immortal (and not just metaphorically); the BJP would have been dissolved, and so may have been the case with Congress; Nation-states would be a thing of the past; and every second man born would have the looks of Jude Law, the voice and accent of Hugh Jackman, the brains of Khushwant Singh, the humor of the Pythons and the *we’re gonna be starry-eyed because we’re girls and we can’t help it* effect of Edward Cullen. Last one is just plain wishful thinking, not that the others are any better.





As Expected

This apparently happened. Two idiots were sitting in their room looking through their mail. They were both sent mail by a common friend and as fate would have it, they both opened the mail at the same time. After looking through the contents cursorily, by some twist in the fate of things, they both noticed that another person had been sent the mail at the same time, and they both wondered the same thing together- “Who on earth is Saxx Granny??”

Yeah, it was me. Sam has me as Saxx Granny on her gmail id. Blah blah. Point being, I’m supposed to know a lot about sex. I honestly don’t know too much. Sure, I admit, I do know more than about 90% of the girls in the GH probably, and I guess I’m more open to talking about it. But I just know basic facts- Touch, Feel, Kiss, Taste, Liquids, In-Out In-Out, Off and Out. Till tonight I hadn’t seen it. Now that I have, I am happily reassured of the fact that I am, at least in some ways, very much a girl.

The fact is, that while I described the basic facts as whatever I described it as, I definitely don’t think that is it. There’s more. There’s definitely more than what the Latin Adulterers did. Or to be more accurate, more than what they were doing.

There are several problems with what I saw of porn. Firstly, the fact that as Professor Humphrey said in Monty Pythons: The Meaning of Life, “… we have all these possibilities before we stampede towards the clitoris.” I swear, there was  a moment of kissing, then clothes off, uncomfortable underwear off, and not even a glance at such things as the chest (from either the guy’s or the girl’s side- and both are equally important) before the guy started “leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at the gate” (again, footnote the great Monty Pythons). If I were the chick, I’d expect a bit more care than that, honestly.

Next, sex really isn’t such a great prospect for us girls unless there is some degree of affection. If not affection, at least a certain degree of desire. And while I must admit, most of the clip did not constitute faces, when we did get a look at the faces, they looked like they were faking it. Bored would be a good term. As far as I am concerned, anything that makes sex boring is just sad.

Further, and I’m not even slightly adventurous enough to ever think of doing it when there is a third person in the room. For me, that is just creepy. Au Naturale may include a lot of things, but I’m just not cool with more than two people, one of them being me. As much as I can talk about it, the act is a very personal thing. Not something to be done in as many positions as possible with your vagina tilted just so, in order for the third person (shudder) in the room to capture it with perfect lighting for the camera.

As a film buff I have to say, the cinematography was horrible. Really, I am the first person to admit that the female genitalia i not that pretty, and the male one is definitely not. So why, WHY the focus on the conjecture between the two? How is that pretty, in any sense of the word? I have been happier watching sex- scenes from normal movies where at least it doesn’t look like they’re doing it for a camera.

So there, an analysis of how porn is just too fake to be real.

For the record, I’m not disgusted by guys. I suppose in some ways, Porn is for them, what cutesy chick flicks are for us. We think the other is just weird and digusting, and we can’t help but like our own stuff.


Posted by on June 25, 2009 in Rant