Call me a sentimental fool, but I just finished reading “Summer Sisters” by Judy Blume, and yes, it made me cry. The fact is, between worries, and melodrama, and the impossibilities of relationships, I hardly ever think about friendships. For me, they have always been just… well, sorry to sound so brutal, but since I’m supposed to be telling the truth here- they’ve always been sort of like holiday romances, or affairs in foreign countries.
Simply put, my affection and love for my friends is, simply put, guided most of the time by those lines from “The Kite Runner”- “for you, a thousand times over”. It’s not something I’m proud of, trust me. Being loyal in friendships is very troublesome most of the time, especially for yourself. And sometimes, most of the times, sometimes.. you tend to be taken for granted. But it’s generally very easy to be loyal- all you have to do is give the friend the same place as you have in your priority list.
However, this tenacious loyalty only lasts till someone is around. To put it in other words, I care about my friends a lot till I lose touch with them, and since I’m not a phone person, nor an e-mail person, that happens a lot as and when I move around. But then again, if someone was very close to me, one thing is always a certainty. If ever, in a decade’s time even, they announce themselves unexpectedly in whatever shack I’m living in, they’ll be welcome. Or if I run into them somewhere, since I really don’t have the energy to find out who wins in the “who has done better since the last time we met” game, I’ll be the same as I was before. Although to be fair to my better side, this may be a tendency of the past, since I seem to be showing signs of attachment to many of my friend. I may be growing soft… besides the point.
Alright, if not a per current circumstances, then at least according to past ones, you can see the wisdom in the comparison to holiday romances- they’re great and brilliant as long a they last; but afterwards, they’re just names of people, and great memories in photographs.
But since I finished this book, I know that even for a commitment-phobe such a myself, some things last longer.
Some friendships will last, as I know mine with my friend will. And the only reason they last is because you absolutely refuse to let it go under any circumstances. Because sometimes, no matter what the world makes of you, and what you make of yourself, you know somewhere inside you – that friend alone knows the real you.
The friend that broke your heart too many times to count. The one who didn’t let you go even when you would have loved to be let go of. The one that saw you moon over characters in books and movies you may never admit to anyone else you liked. The one to whom you told the truth about that crush- that it was way longer than two weeks (my general record time) and you were a bit more into it than you let on to everybody else. The one you were slightly jealous of, and who may have been slightly jealous of you. With whom, the jealousy still exist very slightly – you both love each others life – but you both know about it and love each other all the more for it.
You know you will hold on to this friend and will never let them get away, just like they never let you go. And all for one simple reason- sometimes, you just have to admit that inside, you are the person you were when you were seventeen. Silly, stupid, intelligent, superficial, pompous, sad, chirpy, depressed, lonely, whatever. And the friend becomes your link, maybe even your last link to the person you used to be, and still are. Reason being, that they love that person while most other don’t even know about it.